|PRIVATE| And Miles To Go Before I Sleep...

- 22 years
Played by Hermes
Weary yellow eyes look out upon a foreign beach as a frown tugs down the corners of his mouth. After months and months of wandering Felix is tired. It is not from the long journey itself, although it has brought the alabaster stallion to this place. Neither is it the fact that he has had little to nothing to eat. While his ribs are showing and the luster is gone from his coat, the white and ink colored stallion is still standing. It may not seem like much but right now… that is enough.

None of these things are why he is weary to his very soul. No, it is his own fault. His mind is awhirl with thoughts and emotions that torment, tease and belittle him. It has always been this way, his brain is just wired to think the worst about himself. He does not blame anyone for this, not even his parents. Not the woman that bore him yet hated him with all her heart or the man who sired him and called Felix the worst thing ever conceived. There is a place in his heart that still loves them and cries out for them to love him.


Tears trickle out of his yellow eyes and down his face. The only kindness ever shown to him was by the farmer and his family. They had so little and yet, they had given the young colt all that he had longed for. Growing up, the alabaster and black colt had known what it was like to have wealth surround him. However, it brought him no warmth on the cold nights he lay in the cellar, crying after the emotional lashing his parents had given him. What had he done to deserve such treatment? Why was he hated so?

And now, they return. The ghosts of his past, coming to whisper into his ear; More tears leak out as Felix fights the inner war that rages. Years of battle have worn him thin and there is a fear in him that one day he will lose this war. Today is not that day however and so, he keeps fighting. With a deep breath, Felix squeezes his eyes shut, blocking the beach from his view. With the world successfully blocked from view, the ink and snow colored stallion pulls into himself.

Everything is closed to the outside world now, his ears do not hear the waves that roll against the sand, eyes no longer see the cloudless blue sky and he does not feel the warmth of the sun upon his coat. Instead, he is in a vast ocean of darkness. Swimming within the comfortable and familiar void, he allows himself to just be. Focusing all his attention on his breath, he pulls the air deep into his lungs holding it for a moment before slowly exhaling it out through his nostrils.

He does this a few times, calming his mind and steadying the exhausting pace of his racing heart. The darkness cocoons him, separating Felix from the terrifying world around him. Out there is hatred. Out there are cruel and malicious equines. Here, in this place that is absent of sound and images, is only him. Felix. A kind, wounded, damaged stallion who just wants to know what it means to not hurt.

With a deep sigh, the stallion opens his eyes and allows the colors to burst back into life. The sound crashes over him and he is once more a part of the world. Looking down at the white sand that he stands upon, Felix inhales deeply. Raising his head, he once more stares out across the beach and exhales the breath he was holding. No matter what this place holds, he will face it. Fear grips his heart for a moment but life is all about putting one hoof in front of another.

So, the alabaster and onyx man does just that.

"I speak" I think